Aug 2015

Your Partner is Your Customer

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Your Partner is Your Customer

Let's say you own a business. You depend on your customers for the success of your business and your livelihood as well. If your customer has a complaint, would you ignore it? Would you raise your voice, perhaps telling your customer they don't know what they are taking about? Would you storm out of your customer's office or business? Would you cross complain telling them they are not good customers that they, for example, do not buy enough of your product or appreciate the value of your product?

No, no way. You would never do that. You might even solicit feedback from your customer to make sure your meeting their needs. So why do we sometimes treat our partners like we do? Perhaps it is because we care more about our partners that we do for our customers. We are more threatened by their complaints. We become defensive. They are family. When we were children our family, our parents, loved us no matter what we did or did not do. We are hurt because our partner does not unconditionally accept us. We feel anger and anger is a cover feeling for hurt. Underneath anger are hurt feelings.

How do we get past the hurt feelings, the anger, at not being unconditionally accepted? We make an effort to listen. We try to empathize with our partner. Rather than reacting out of emotion we take time to deal with our anger/hurt feelings. We validate our partner's feelings saying to them, "I understand what your saying…how can I make this right?"

Remember, the happier your partner is the happier you will be. Having a dissatisfied, unhappy customer is a problem you do not want to have. Also, if there are children involved, or you are planning on having them, there is no greater gift you can give them than a happy relationship with your partner.

Key Points

1. Your life partner is your customer.
2. If your partner has a complaint, attend to it.
3. Regularly ask your partner how well they are feeling about the relationship.
4. Do everything you can to make your customer/partner happy.
5. The happier your partner is the happier you will be.
6. There is no greater gift you can give your children than a good relationship.